What Have You Read Lately?

Ever since I can remember, my favorite activity has been reading. I can't imagine my life without books, my constant companions. Whenever I start to talk about books with people, someone will inevitablely ask me, "What do you like to read?" I always feel put on the spot and suddenly can't recall a single book I've ever read. I probably read more fiction than nonfiction, but I really enjoy them both.

It's probably easier to think of what I don't like to read. I haven't read a lot of science fiction, and what I have read I haven't really enjoyed. A friend who loves science fiction told me, "It's because you're not reading the right science fiction." This is entirely possible. I should look into that.

One genre I really don't care for is fantasy. I'm just not the kind of person who likes to become immersed in other worlds with quirky creatures and quests and spells and that sort of thing. I fear I will offend some of you, but I can't stand JRR Tolkein and those Hobbit and Lord of the Rings books. I got halfway through The Hobbit and I wanted to throw the book across the room.

So what do I like, then? I'm just going to start listing books (in no particular order) that have made a particular impression on me, and maybe it will paint a picture of the type of book I like:

• 
  
  Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
• 
  
  The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay
• 
  
  A Mouthful of Air by Anthony Burgess
• 
  
  She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
• 
  
  Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
• 
  
  City of Joy by Dominique LaPierre
• 
  
  Coming Home by Rosamunde Pilcher
• 
  
  The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
• 
  
  The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough
• 
  
  Tim by Colleen McCullough
• 
  
  The Caine Mutiny by Herman Wouk
• 
  
  Adam Bede by George Eliot
• 
  
  A Room With a View by EM Forster
• 
  
  All the Jane Austen books
• 
  
  Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
• 
  
  To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
• 
  
  Sophie's Choice by William Styron
• 
  
  Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham
• 
  
  The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
• 
  
  Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
• 
  
  The Color Purple by Alice Walker
• 
  
  Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All by Allan Gurganus
• 
  
  Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
• 
  
  The Witching Hour by Anne Rice
• 
  
  Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
• 
  
  A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
• 
  
  The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
• 
  
  All of Pat Conroy's books
• 
  
  The Collector by John Fowles
• 
  
  Cat's Eye and Alias Grace (and others) by Margaret Atwood
• 
  
  The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker
• 
  
  The "Little House" series by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Well, it seems I like a wide variety of books. I hope you try one of the books I've listed here. If you don't, that's fine too. The important thing is to read, read, and then read some more. Your English will improve tremendously, and you'll have some adventures along the way.

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Vocabulary

• 
  
  inevitable: something that is sure to happen 
• 
  
  put on the spot: feeling pressure to speak or do something quickly
• 
  
  possible: able to be done
• 
  
  immersed: fully involved in some activity or interest
• 
  
  quirky: unusual, especially in an appealing way
• 
  
  offend: to cause someone to be hurt, angry, or upset over something said or done
• 
  
  tremendously: in a very large or great manner 

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Vocabulary Practice

1. 
   
   I don't want to __________ her by not eating any, but I don't care for her blueberry pie.
2. 
   
   A ___________ large tree fell in my mother's front yard.
3. 
   
   I love the feeling of being so ____________ in a project that I forget to eat.
4. 
   
   The children's TV show Yo Gabba Gabba is a bit _____________ but somehow I like it.
5. 
   
   Once my eyes start closing while I read late at night, it's ____________ that I'll fall asleep.
6. 
   
   Andrew felt ____________ when his coworker asked him if he was coming to her party.
7. 
   
   Sometimes it doesn't seem ____________, but I know I will find a job someday.

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Grammar Point

Direct Quotes

When you want to show that something you've written is an exact quote from a person, you need to put the words they said within quotation marks. The first letter of the quoted phrase is a capital, and any end marks (period, question mark, exclamation point) go before the ending quotes. Look at these examples from my blog entry:

• 
  
  Whenever I start to talk about books with people, someone will inevitablely ask me, "What do you like to read?"
• 
  
  A friend who loves science fiction told me, "It's because you're not reading the right science fiction."

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Grammar Practice

Put quotation marks in the correct places in the following sentences:

1. 
   
   The crossing guard yelled, Stop! to the children.
2. 
   
   Bess asked her friend, Do you have the keys?
3. 
   
   When the hairdresser took out the scissors, I said, Please don't cut off too much hair.
4. 
   
   The librarian told the teenagers, Please keep the noise down.
5. 
   
   Elizabeth asked the bus driver, Which stop is nearest to the park?

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Come Visit My Booklist!

Because I'm well-known among my friends and family for being a constant reader, people used to always ask me, "What should I read?" I had such a hard time recalling the titles and authors that I decided to keep a list of all the books I read. I began the original list in a notebook in 1992--no synopses, no reviews, no comments. In 2002, for the tenth anniversary of the list, I converted it to a website (though I still keep a hard copy of the ongoing list):

http://claudsbooklist.webs.com/

For the launch of the website, I added a rating system. I think I have about 430 books on the list at this point. I'd love it if you visited my website and sent it to your book-loving friends and family. Happy reading!

Six Material Things That Consistently Make Me Happy

Do you ever feel like you can't escape advertising? It's everywhere. Companies seem to always be on the lookout for new places to position their ads. I try to talk to my 4-year-old son John about advertising and not believing everything he sees and hears on commercials. In general, I'm a nonconsumer. I hate stuff. I dream of empty shelves and bare rooms. I can't stand shopping and I don't care about labels or status. However, there are a few products or items that I love--things that really do what they're supposed to and hence make me happy.

Here is my list of Six Material Things That Consistently Make Me Happy (in no particular order):

1. 
   
   My Eyelash Curler: I have terrible eyelashes. They are short and thin and stick straight. My mother's eyelashes are the same way. I don't wear a lot of makeup, but one thing I like is looking like I have eyelashes. I've been using an eyelash curler (and mascara) ever since high school. People who don't have eyelash problems tend to tease me about my devotion to the eyelash curler until I show them a demonstration: one eye "curled" and one eye not. The difference is dramatic.
2. 
   
   Neutrogena Sesame Body Oil: I almost don't want to write about this, because I want it to be a secret. Neutrogena Sesame Body Oil is this delightful, light oil that you can either pour into a bath or smooth on your skin after a shower. It feels lovely going on, moisturizes your skin, and doesn't feel greasy afterward. However, the greatest thing about this product is the smell. When you wear this oil you smell like you just got back from the beach. In my opinion, it's better than any perfume I've ever encountered. When I put this on my skin and smell the amazing fragrance, I'm instantly in a good mood.
3. 
   
   The LEGO Brick Separator: In a previous post I mentioned how my two boys are very into building with LEGO blocks these days. I recently discovered that there is a new LEGO store in the Roosevelt Field Mall, so I popped in to see what they had. It was a wonderland of LEGO. I bought the boys a few new blocks and some wheels, but the greatest thing I found was the Brick Separator. It's an actual tool that you use (instead of your teeth) to take apart the stubborn blocks. It looks something like a bottle opener. You just place the end of this tool on the LEGO that's stuck, gently bend it upward, and it pops right off. Is it one of life's necessities? No. But it fits in the LEGO bucket, costs only $2.99, and keeps trachea-sized LEGO blocks out of my kids' mouths. That's enough for me!
4. 
   
   The Tupperware Orange Peeling Tool: For people like me, with very short, weak fingernails, peeling an orange is no easy task. Have you ever seen Tupperware's orange peeler? It's very exciting. It's basically a long plastic stick that has a sharp, hooked point at one end. What you do is take an orange in one hand, hold the peeling tool in the other hand, and carve a vertical groove down the side of the entire orange with the hooked end of the tool. Make similar vertical grooves all around the orange, about an inch apart. Then you can easily peel it with your fingers. Again, this may not be a necessity, but it works so well that I had to put it on the list.
5. 
   
   Avon Moisture Effective Eye Makeup Remover: When I first started wearing makeup in high school, a friend introduced me to this creamy eye makeup remover from Avon. It worked great, didn't bother my eyes, and was very inexpensive. Twenty-five years later, Avon still sells it and it's still the best. And if you buy it at the right time, you can get it for 99 cents a bottle. Can you beat that?
6. 
   
   
   The Penny Arcade Coin Machine at TD Bank: Don't get me wrong: I love rolling coins. There's something very satisfying about having a giant jar of coins, sitting down with the wrappers and something I've been wanting to watch on TV, and organizing it all into nice, solid, rolled tubes. The drudgery comes when I have to bring them to the bank. I can never seem to get there during their open hours, so the rolled coins sit in a bag for weeks and weeks. However, that phase of my life is over due to the coin machine at TD Bank. Anyone can use it, not just people who have an accout there. You walk over the machine, make a guess as to how much money you have (the machine asks you to do this), dump your coins into a metal tray, push a few buttons, and out pops a receipt showing how much money you put in. You bring it over to the bank teller and get your cash. There are no fees at all. It's that easy. Enjoy!

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Vocabulary

• escape: to get away from something or somewhere 
• can't stand: do not like 
• devotion: a feeling of strong love or loyalty 
• delightful: very pleasant
• greasy: covered with grease or oil 
• popped in: went for a short visit 
• stubborn: refusing to change your ideas or stop doing something 
• grooves: long, narrow cuts or low areas in a surface 
• inexpensive: doesn't cost a lot of money 
• drudgery: boring, difficult, or unpleasant work

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Vocabulary Practice

1. After I went to the bank, I ____________ for a quick visit at my mother's house.
2. The children rode over the cement before it was dry, so it had deep ____________ from bicycle wheels.
3. Ella has a strong ___________ toward her religion.
4. Gardening is a _______________ way to spend a spring morning.
5. Henry was happy to find an ______________ booklight that was sturdy and worked well.
6. Most people think balancing a checkbook is __________, but I enjoy it.
7. Michael is so ___________ that he refuses to even consider doing his banking on line.
8. Sometimes the dishes still have a ___________ feeling to them when they come out of the dishwasher.
9. I really ____________ grocery shopping; to me, it's the worst chore there is.
10. It's nice to ____________ from everyday life once in a while.

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Grammar Point
Using an Apostrophe to Show Ownership

When should you use an apostrophe? There are some special cases, but usually we use an apostrophe for two reasons:

1. To show ownership (used with an s)
2. To form contractions, which is how show that letters have been removed

We've already covered contractions in another blog entry, so today I'll cover using an apostrophe to show ownership. In the entry above, here are some examples of this usage:

• my mother's eyelashes
• life's necessities
• Tupperware's orange peeler

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Grammar Practice

In the following examples, add the missing apostrophes. There should be one in each sentence.

1. The lions cubs slept next to her in the shade.
2. That cars tire looks flat.
3. I want to read more of that authors books.
4. The presidents speech was quite interesting.
5. Jims father is coming to stay for two weeks.

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1000 Awesome Things

I recently came across this wonderful blog (and then sought out the accompanying book) by Neil Pasricha. He writes about one awesome thing every day. Some examples are finding money you forgot about in your pocket, that smooth feeling on your teeth after you get your braces off, and bakery air. Take a look and prepare to be happy:
http://1000awesomethings.com/

Ten Fun Things to Do With the Dictionary

1. 
   
   Roulette: Close your eyes. Open the book to any page and randomly place your finger wherever it lands. Open your eyes but only read the word, not the definition. See if you know what the word means. If you don't, see if you can figure it out. If you do this with a friend, your friend can give you a hint to help you guess the definition.
2. 
   
   
   Definitions Only: This activity can only be done with two or more people. One person chooses any word in the dictionary. It should be a word that is pretty well known. That person reads only the definition to the other people in the group. The other people have to guess what word is being described. It's funny to see how many common words are hard to identify this way. When I was in high school, my father and I used to play this game most nights after dinner, while we were sitting at the table and had just finished our meals. It's one of my very special memories.
   
   
3. 
   
   
   Spelling Bee: Get with a partner and take turns asking each other how to spell words from the dictionary. One point is given for each correct word. Each player gets to continue as long as he or she keeps spelling words correctly.
   
   
4. 
   
   
   Party Game: Have you ever heard of the dictionary party game? You'll need a at least 4 players, a dictionary, paper, and pens. One person is chosen to be the reader/writer. That person chooses a very unfamiliar word from the dictionary and writes it on a piece of paper and shows it to the rest of the players. Each of the other players writes down their own definition of the word on a piece of paper. Generally, no one will know what the word means, so the definitions will be made up. Try to write your fake definition in the formal style of a real dictionary definition. The person who is the reader/writer will also copy the real dictionary definition of the word onto a piece of paper. The reader collects the papers and reads all of the definitions aloud, including the real one. The other players must vote for which definition they think is the real one. The person whose fake definition gets the most votes wins that round. The person to the left of the reader/writer now gets that job and the process is repeated. At the end of the game, whoever has the most points wins. It's a lot of fun!
   
   
5. 
   
   
   Browse! One of the greatest things to do with the dictionary is just browse. Let yourself wander through the pages and see what you find. Look at the illustrations. Look for words that you've never seen before. Find words that you love to say aloud, even if you don't understand what they mean. But beware, because you can easily get lost in the pages this way. You may even miss an episode of American Idol! (Look up sarcasm in the dictionary.)
   
   
6. 
   
   
   Go to http://www.m-w.com/. This online version of the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate dictionary is terrific. Each word has an audio clip associated with it, so you can hear how the word is pronounced. But one of the greatest things about this site is the Learner's Dictionary. Click on ESL in the horizontal blue bar toward the top of the home page and you'll be taken to the Learner's Dictionary area. This dictionary was especially created for English learners. You'll find many more pictures and sample sentences than in the main dictionary section. Look for the section with exercises for perfect English pronunciation. You can even create your own dictionary on the site; you can collect the words you look up so you can practice them in the future. 
   
   
7. 
   
   
   Strange Words: Have a contest with a friend. Set a timer for 5 minutes, and see how many strange or crazy words you can find. Vote on who found the best word and see how many times you can use it in conversation that day.
   
   
8. 
   
   
   See What Else Is in There: Dictionaries have a lot more inside them than just words and definitions. Look in your dictionary and see what else you can find. You may see pictures of flags from all the world's countries, a guide to the money used in different nations, maps, and more. 
   
   
9. 
   
   
   Story Time: Choose five words randomly by opening up to different pages and putting your finger on any word. Write these five words and their definitions on a piece of paper. Using all of the words, write a short story. Don't try to use perfect form or even make sense. Just have fun trying to connect the words somehow, and see what you can come up with.
   
   
10. 
    
    
    Index Card Bank: Each time you need to look up a word, write it on an index card. Store your cards in a ziploc bag and keep them with you at all times. When you're in a doctor's waiting room or on line at the supermarket, you can take out your words and review them while you wait.

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Vocabulary

• 
  
  
  hint: a small piece of information that can help you do something or guess an answer more easily
• 
  
  
  common: done by many people 
• 
  
  
  memories: thoughts about events that happened in the past
• 
  
  
  take turns: when two people do something one after the other, sharing the activity
• 
  
  
  unfamiliar: not often seen, heard, or experienced
• 
  
  
  fake: not real
• 
  
  
  browse: look at many things to see if something is interesting to you
• 
  
  
  illustrations: pictures that go along with words or a story
• 
  
  
  horizontal: positioned from side to side rather than up and down
• 
  
  
  contest: an event that people try to win by doing something better than others
• 
  
  
  conversation: talking between two or more people
• 
  
  
  review: carefully look over something you've done

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Vocabulary Practice

1. 
   
   
   The teacher told the students to draw a _______________ line at the top of the page.
2. 
   
   
   When I have time, I love to ______________ through the shelves of the bookstore.
3. 
   
   
   My 2-year-old son is just learning to _________________ with his brother when they play.
4. 
   
   
   Tina was so excited when she realized she had won the dance ____________.
5. 
   
   
   It's nice to have _____________ of wonderful trips to exciting places.
6. 
   
   
   I get many compliments on my diamond earrings, but they're actually _________ ones that I bought for $12 at Macy's.
7. 
   
   
   It's very ____________ to have a fear of spiders.
8. 
   
   
   You should ______________ your exam for mistakes before you give it to the teacher.
9. 
   
   
   When you're in an _______________ neighborhood, it can be difficult to find your way around.
10. 
    
    
    If you don't know what to write about, your teacher can give you some writing ______________.
11. 
    
    
    The colorful __________________ in children's books are so much fun to look at.
12. 
    
    
    My friend has trouble starting a __________________ with someone she doesn't already know.

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Grammar Point

Adverbs

What is an adverb? An adverb is a word that can modify a verb, an adjective, another adverb, a phrase, or a clause. An adverb indicates manner, time, place, cause, or degree and answers questions such as "how," "when," "where," and "how much." Many adverbs do not end in -ly, but a lot of them do. We're just going to focus on the ones that DO end in -ly today. Here are some sentences from my blog entry that contain -ly adverbs in red type (after each sentence I'll show you why the red word is an adverb):

• 
  
  
  Open the book to any page and randomly place your finger wherever it lands.

(How am I placing my finger? Randomly.)

• 
  
  
  Each player gets to continue as long as he or she keeps spelling words correctly.

(How is he or she spelling words? Correctly.)

• 
  
  
  But beware, because you can easily get lost in the pages this way.

(How can you get lost? Easily)

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Grammar Practice

Go to this website http://www.stickyball.net/grammar/107.html and complete the worksheet on adverbs. You have to fill in each blank with an -ly adjective that makes sense. Email me your answers and I will give you feedback. Have fun!

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A New Kind of Dictionary for Visual Learners

Do you learn vocabulary better if you see a picture of something rather than just read words to describe it? If you click on "Visual" in the horizontal blue toolbar on the www.m-w.com homepage, you'll find their Visual Dictionary.

Words are divided into 15 categories: Food & Kitchen, Clothing & Articles, Animal Kingdom, and 12 others. When you go to a category, you'll find many links to words that have been illustrated in the dictionary. For example, if I click on the category Earth, I'll find several subcategories. If I then click on Geology, I get a list of the words I can see illustrated. I clicked on the word "lake" and pictures of six different kinds of lakes: volcanic lake, oxbow lake, glacial lake, tectonic lake, artificial lake, and oasis.

They even have a fun Game of the Week that challenges you to name all the parts of a picture. This week's picture is a cash register:

http://visual.merriam-webster.com/games_game-week.php

I didn't even know that the parts of a cash register have names.

Try the Visual Dictionary to see if it helps you with the words you want to learn.

Simon Says...

Have you ever played the game Simon Says? If not, this is how you play: One person is chosen to be Simon, the leader of the game. Simon stands in front of the rest of the players, facing them. Simon gives the players directions. If he says, "Simon says..." before the direction, then the other players have to do it. If he doesn't, then they must do nothing.

For example, if the leader says, "Simon says put your hands on your head," then the players must put their hands on their heads. If he says, "Put your hands on your head," then they do nothing. Simon can be tricky, though, and try to get you to do the wrong thing. Any player who does the wrong thing is eliminated. The last person standing after everyone else has been eliminated is the winner. And that's the whole game.

I love Simon Says. It's a great game. It's so easy to learn, and it's usually quick to play too. If you get eliminated early in the game you don't have to wait too long until another game starts. Children play it at school and on the playground, but adults can have fun with it as well. There are even professional Simon Says callers who lead games at sports events, universities, and corporate meetings. Some of these Simon Says games are played with hundreds and even thousands of participants. I've played in two of these large-scale games: one at a company-wide picnic and one at a counselor orientation meeting for a camp I once worked at. And I'm proud to say that I won both of them. At the company picnic I won a water bottle, yet at the camp meeting I brought home a real trophy! I always boast to my family and friends about my natural Simon Says talent, but in truth, I always win because I know the secret: Just do what Simon says to do. That's it! It's a foolproof method!

Even if you're not playing for trophies, Simon Says is a perfect game for practicing your English skills with friends. You have to think quickly in order to perform the action Simon calls out before he moves on to the next one. Simon can adjust the speed of his directions to make the game easier or harder for English learners at different levels. It may feel silly at first, but give it a try. You'll learn some English and have a great time.
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Vocabulary

• directions: steps to tell you how to do something or go somewhere
• eliminated: removed from the game
• playground: outdoor area where children play
• corporate: relating to a business
• participants: people involved in an activity
• orientation: a meeting in which people in an unfamiliar situation get used to their new environment
• trophy: a small statue you receive for winning a game or competition
• talent: a special ability to do something easily and well
• foolproof: guaranteed not to fail
• perform: to carry out an action

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Grammar Practice

1. When I went to college, the school had an ____________ session for freshmen the week before classes started.
2. Sandra ___________ sugar from her diet but still needed to cut down on how much salt she ate.
3. Children usually love to go on the swings at the _____________.
4. If you work in a ____________ environment, you have to dress in a professional manner.
5. Jamie's mother put the _________ she won at the softball tournament on the mantel for everyone to see.
6. All the ____________ in the competition went home with a prize at the end of the day.
7. Because I often get lost, I always seem to be stopping and asking for _____________.
8. The boy playing second base seemed to have a natural __________ for baseball.
9. My niece will __________ a solo at her dance recital tomorrow night.
10. A ___________ way to check your subtraction is to do addition in reverse.

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Grammar Point
Coordinating Conjunctions

Coordinating conjunctions are words that link other words, phrases, or independent clauses (clauses that can stand alone) together. Watch this classic video clip from Schoolhouse Rock to learn a bit about conjunctions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkO87mkgcNo

The coordinating conjunctions are for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so. Remember, the mnemonic for this is FANBOYS.

In my blog entry above, I use many coordinating conjunctions. Here are some examples with the coordinating conjunctions in red type:

• It's so easy to learn, and it's usually quick to play too.
• Children play it at school and on the playground, but adults can have fun with it as well.
• At the company picnic I won a water bottle, yet at the camp meeting I brought home a real trophy!

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Grammar Practice
Write a paragraph of your own about a favorite game you play now or played when you were younger. Use at least three different coordinating conjunctions. Remember FANBOYS!
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Simon Says Look at This!
This link shows a Simon Says game from the 2007 Disney Channel Games. It looks like a lot of fun, doesn't it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMg5pGxcEJk

Hair

In class, we watched a video of another ESL class working on their writing skills. The teacher, Jeff Anderson, started his students off with a line from a book, "My hair wakes up stupid." The class in the video uses this quote as inspiration for their writing.

I decided to use the same line to start off my blog entry today. How does my hair wake up? I think my hair goes to bed, wakes up, and lives the entire day...rebellious! It never does what I want it to do. When I want it to be curly, my hair droops into straightness. When I'm trying for the straight look, it bounces and bends itself into curls as soon as it thinks I'm not looking. My hair can't even get itself together as a group and decide how it wants to be on any given day. The front and underside parts can be quite straight while at the very same moment the top and back are crazily curled. This is not a good look!

I've had long hair for most of my life. In 1990 a friend and I decided to get a permanent. I figured that a perm would tame my hair and force it to do what I wanted instead of what IT wanted. I thought I would walk out of the salon with lovely corkscrew-shaped ringlets. It turned out to be one of the worst ideas I've ever had. It was awful. It looked as if I'd stuck my finger into a light socket. And there was a big chunk of hair on the right side of my head that was now super straight and fried. All I could do was cry and wait until it grew.

Once it had grown a bit, I got it all the frizzy bits cut off. It was the only time in my life that I had short hair, and I didn't like it. It didn't feel like "me." But I started working in a new office just after I'd gotten my hair cut off. One day I happened to mention something to my new office friends about my long hair. They were all surprised to hear that I had had long hair my entire life. One girl said to me, "I just can't picture you with long hair. You're such a short-hair person." This was fascinating to me because I knew that of course I was NOT a short-hair person. Everyone else who had known me for years and years knew that the short hair was just a temporary situation; they thought of me as a long-hair person. This experience really made me think about perception. Other people can have a view of you that you may not expect or understand, based on what they see at the moment.

Some days, though, my hair wakes up pretty happy. It seems to have the same agenda as I do, and it mostly cooperates with me when I get ready for the day. I try to remember what I did on a day like this in order to repeat it, but this strategy usually fails.

The best days, however, are when my hair wakes up scared. Then it behaves like a small child who wants a lollipop. When do these scared days occur? The day I'm planning a trip to the hair salon, of course. This phenomenon is well-known to women. If you schedule a haircut, you will undoubtedly wake up on the day of the appointment with great hair. People will give you compliments all day, and you'll say, "What? This looks good? I'm getting it cut today." You may be tempted to cancel your appointment because your hair seems to have changed and suddenly looks fabulous. Don't do it! Your hair is playing a trick on you because it doesn't want to get cut off. It's planning on relaxing and looking bad again as soon as it knows the threat of a cut is removed. If you cancel your appointment, it will look awful when you try to style your hair the next day. Then you'll be stuck with it for 2 weeks until the next appointment is available. Hair should NOT be trusted!
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Vocabulary

• inspiration: something having the power to encourage or move a person
• rebellious: going against authority
• salon: a stylish business establishment or shop
• frizzy: tightly curled and fuzzy
• fascinating: extremely interesting or charming
• agenda: list of things to be considered or done
• strategy: a careful plan or method
• undoubtedly: surely
• cancel: call off
• threat: something intended to cause evil, injury, or damage

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Vocabulary Practice

1. The organizer of the conference sent an ____________ of events to the attendees.
2. I found the movie My Dinner With Andre to be __________, while many people thought it was boring.
3. When you stay up way past your bedtime, the next day you will _____________ feel tired and draggy.
4. If a skunk feels you are a __________ to him, he may spray you.
5. It's such a nice treat to go to the hair _____________ and get pampered for a day.
6. In order to avoid __________ hair, I spray on a little hairspray and smooth it down.
7. Gina had to __________ her doctor's appointment when her car had a flat tire.
8. Kyle is a good student, but he has a ____________ side that caused him to get his nose pierced.
9. My ___________ for avoiding long lines at the grocery store is to shop at 11:00 pm.
10. If you're running a long race, great music can be an ____________ to continue.

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Grammar Point
Adjectives

Adjectives are words that are used to describe nouns or pronouns. They are words that tell us color, size, shape, texture, number, appearance, and many other categories. They can help create a picture for the reader. In the sentence that Jeff Anderson gives his students to start them off on their writing, the word "stupid" is an adjective because it describes the speaker's hair:

My hair wakes up stupid.

We could change the adjective and change the meaning of the sentence.

My hair wakes up flat.
My hair wakes up curly.
My hair wakes up angry.
My hair wakes up blond.

In my blog entry above, I use many adjectives. Can you find any? I'll list several of them here:

rebellious
straight
curled
good
long
lovely
worst
fabulous
scared
temporary

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Grammar Practice

In the sentences below, find the adjectives. Each sentence has only one. The answers are below sentence #5.

1. The princess wore a silver gown to the dance.
2. When did you get that huge dog?
3. Five trees fell during the hurricane.
4. I love to go swimming in a warm pool.
5. Do you enjoy spicy food?

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Answers: 1 silver, 2 huge, 3 five, 4 warm, 5 spicy

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Cultural Link
If you're interesting in trying out different hairstyles before going to the salon, check out this virtual hairstyle website: http://www.thehairstyler.com/virtual-hairstyler You can upload a photo of yourself and see how hundreds of different styles would look on you. Have fun!

Memorization Made Easy (or at Least Fun)

When I was in graduate school getting my master's degree in education, I had to take a course called Testing and Measurement. It was all about creating exams that correctly measured whether or not students had learned the material they had been taught. During the course, we had to use a fair amount of statistics. When it came time for the final exam, the professor told us we had to memorize the five statistical formulas we'd need to use during the test. The class erupted with groans and complaints. I heard people saying, "Memorize them? Why? How? Can't we just write them down and bring them to the exam?" Finally, the professor agreed to let us bring one sheet of paper into the exam; we could write the formulas on that paper. I was disappointed in him. After all, we were studying to be teachers. How could we expect our students to memorize things when we weren't willing to do the same?

How do you feel about memorization? Like my former classmates, do you hate the idea? Many people are put off by the work needed to memorize something. But while a good part of your English learning will happen while you're naturally speaking, listening, reading, and writing in the language, you will definitely have to memorize certain things. For example, some words are spelled or pronounced in a way that doesn't seem to follow any of the rules of English.

Luckily, there's help. Have you ever heard of a mnemonic device? A mnemonic device is a memory aid that you can use to remember just about anything. I absolutely love mnemonic devices. You may already use them without realizing it.

For example, if you read music, your music teacher may have given you a way to memorize the names of the notes on the lines and spaces of the staff. Reading up from the bottom, the notes on the four spaces are F, A, C, and E. You can see how that spells the word FACE. That's a pretty simple one. The names of the notes on the lines are E, G, B, D, and F. That's not as easy, as it doesn't spell anything. So in English, music teachers will generally tell the students to think of a sentence where each word begins with the same letter as these notes. I learned, "Every Good Boy Does Fine." I've heard other students learn, "Every Good Boy Deserves Fun." Is there a different way you were taught to learn these notes in your language?

Remember when we learned about the different types of sentences? We talked about the coordinating conjuctions and used the word FANBOYS to help remember the list. Can you still name them? I'm pretty sure you can, because of FANBOYS (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So). That was a mnemonic device.

Creating a funny mental picture that you'll remember is another way to use a mnemonic device. The sillier the picture is, the better it will stick in your head. One time I went to a weekend-long Irish dancing festival. I was there by myself so I met a lot of new friends. I used mental pictures to remember people's names when I met them. For example, I met a man named Bill. Bill had a big bushy beard, so in my head I pictured the beard as a duck's bill. I never had a problem remembering his name after that. I also met a woman called Jo who had on a brown shirt. In my head I pictured her spilling coffee all over a white shirt and turning it brown. This reminded me that her name was Jo because in English we sometimes use the word "Joe" as a nickname for coffee--"Hey, can I have a cup of Joe?" (It actually sounds more like "cuppa Joe" when people say it, so listen for this when you're around native speakers.)

Mnemonic devices are great for those words you just can't remember how to spell. I'm a native English speaker and a good speller, but I still need tricks to remember some words. For example, I could never remember how to spell "cemetery." I always forgot whether the third to last letter was an "e" or an "a." Then one day I came across a great mnemonic device. Someone said to picture all the e's in the word lined up in a neat row like headstones in a graveyard (another word for cemetery). I imagined those e's a few times in my head, and now I never have trouble spelling the word.

I also used to have trouble remembering how to spell the homophones "stationary" and "stationery." The one with the "-ary" ending means "not moving" and the one with the "-ery" ending means "writing paper." Finally, I came up with a mnemonic device that worked for me: I pictured a capital "E" as a piece of paper, with the horizontal arms of the E as the lines on the paper. So when I saw the "-ery" ending, I immediately pictured the capital E in my head, saw that lined sheet of paper, and knew it was the word that meant "paper" instead of "not moving."

The great thing about mnemonic devices is that often you only need them temporarily. For a while, you'll have to think of your device every time you encounter the word you want to spell or the person whose name you need to remember. But eventually you won't need the trick anymore. I know how to spell cemetery even without picturing my little rows of e's. And I still remember Bill from the dance class every time I see him, even though he no longer has a beard.

One more word about mnemonic devices: You can find lists of them in books and even websites that will help you create them. This might help you at first until you get the hang of it. But the mnemonic devices that work best are the ones you create yourself. Your own sentence or your own silly picture will work better than anyone else's because it has meaning to you. Practice creating your own memory aids and I know you'll use this skill in every part of your life.
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Vocabulary

• erupted: suddenly and sometimes violently released
• agreed: consented to a course of action
• disappointed: defeated and sad because something you wanted did or did not occur
• former: something that came before, in time
• put off: having a feeling like you don't want to do something
• festival: a celebration or several events
• cemetery: burial ground
• temporarily: for only for a short period of time
• encounter: meet
• eventually: some time in the future

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Vocabulary Practice

1. Many people enjoy listening to music at an outdoor ___________.
2. Jean ______________ lived with her sister while her house was being renovated.
3. I hope you're not ____________ by the length of this amazing book.
4. My ___________ roommate was very messy; I'm happy that I now live alone.
5. Henry was very  ___________ when he had to cancel his trip to Japan.
6. If you work hard and stay focused, you can _____________ learn to do anything.
7. When the volcano in Iceland _____________, many planes in Europe were not able to fly.
8. The mother ___________ to let her children have dessert after they finished their lunch.
9. I think a ____________ is a very peaceful place to visit, even though it can be associated with sadness.
10. Did you ever ___________ a situation that made you scared?

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Grammar Point

Prepositions
A preposition is a word that shows relationships between other words in the sentence. The relationships include direction, place, time, cause, manner and amount.

In the sentence
Lisa went to the store.
the word "to" is a preposition that shows direction. In the sentence
He came by bus.
the word "by" is a preposition that shows manner ("How did he come?"). In the sentence
They will be here at three o'clock.
The word "at" is a preposition that shows time. In the sentence
The cat is under the table.
the word "under" is a preposition that shows place.

A preposition always goes with a noun or pronoun that is called the object of the preposition. You may notice that the preposition almost always comes before the noun or pronoun (think: pre + position = preposition). The preposition and the object of the preposition together are called the prepositional phrase.

I'll repeat the examples in green text above. This time the preposition will be blue, the object of the preposition will be red, and the whole prepositional phrase will be in italic type:

• Lisa went to the store.
• He came by bus.
• They will be here at three o'clock.
• The cat is under the table.

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Grammar Practice

In the text above, I've used many prepositions to create prepositional phrases. Can you find at least 5 sentences that have prepositions? List the whole sentence and color-code the preposition, the object of the preposition, and the whole prepositional phrase like I've done in my examples above. E-mail me your answers, and I'll send you feedback and a complete list of the prepositional phrases I've used.

For a review of prepositions, watch this video and listen to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4jIC5HLBdM
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Help With Creating Mnemonic Devices

As I mentioned above, you may need help creating your own mnemonic devices at first. Check out this website for "The Mnemonicizer": http://human-factors.arc.nasa.gov/cognition/tutorials/mnemonics/jv_mad3ab.html

And this website http://www.bucks.edu/~specpop/mnemonics.htm lays out the different types of mnemoic devices and shows you when to use them.

Are You Joking?

Do you have a friend who always has a new joke to share with the crowd? I think we all do. I've always admired people who can remember jokes and tell them well.

When you're learning another language, telling and listening to jokes can be a fun way to practice your speaking and listening skills. When I was learning French in high school, my teacher told the class that when you can understand a joke in French you'll know you really understand the language. I can't remember any French jokes but I can remember my first German joke--it had to do with a frog who wanted to have a nice picture of himself taken by a professional photographer. I was so proud of being able to understand that joke and I loved to practice telling it to any native German speaker who would listen to me.

Playing with English jokes can help you get comfortable with the language. If you don't understand why a joke is funny, try to work it out yourself by thinking of different meanings of the words involved. Many jokes rely on a double meaning, or a "play on words," to be funny. Here is an example of a joke that involves a play on words:

Did you hear the joke about the unstamped letter? Never mind. You wouldn't get it.

Do you understand why this joke works? In the first part of the joke, the teller asks if the listener has heard a joke about a letter with no stamp on it. When the teller says, "Never mind. You wouldn't get it." it seems to refer to the fact that the listener shouldn't even bother hearing the joke, as he wouldn't understand it. To "get" a joke means to understand it. But there's another meaning of "get": to receive something. In this case, the second meaning of "You wouldn't get it." is "You wouldn't receive the letter, because it has no stamp." So this joke is based on the two meanings of the word "get": to understand and to receive. Wordplay like this is fun because it challenges you to think more deeply about the various meanings that words may have.

I've recorded audio files for two jokes that I'd like you to hear. Click the play button to listen to me tell the first joke, "Bear in the Restaurant." Then play the audio again and follow along with the text I've added below the audio file player.

One day, a bear walked into a restaurant. He sat down at a table. When the waitress came over to him, he asked for a cheeseburger. The waitress brought him his food and left him alone to eat. While the bear was eating, the waitress went over to the owner of the restaurant and asked him, "What should I charge that bear over there for that cheeseburger?" The owner thought for a minute and said, "Well, he's just a bear. He probably has no idea what things really cost. Charge him $300.00." In a little while the bear asked the waitress how much he owed her for the cheeseburger. She told him it was $300.00, and he handed her the money. As he was leaving, the waitress said to him, "You know, I have to ask you--why did you come into this restaurant today? We don't usually get many bears coming in here." And the bear answered, "Well, it's not surprising--not with these prices!"

Do you get it? Do you understand why it's funny? Practice telling this joke on your own, then try it out on a friend!

Now try this one, "Lunch":

Three construction workers--Ed, Fred, and Ted--ate lunch together every day. Every day Ed opened his lunch box and found a chicken sandwich. Every day, Fred opened his lunch box and found a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And every day, Ted opened his lunch box and found a ham sandwich. After months of this, they started to get tired of eating the same food. One day, Ed said, "If my wife gives me a chicken sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to throw it in the garbage." Fred said, "Me too--if I get peanut butter and jelly again, I'm going to throw MINE in the garbage." And Ted said, "Me too--if I get ham again, I'm going to throw MINE in the garbage." So at lunch the next day, Ed opened up his lunchbox, unwrapped his sandwich, and saw that his wife had packed him chicken. He groaned, wrapped it up, and threw it in the garbage. Fred opened his lunch box, saw that his wife had packed him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and threw it in the garbage next to Ed's. Next, Ted picked up his sandwich and threw it in the garbage without even opening it. The other two men were shocked. Ed said, "Ted, why didn't you open it up? Maybe your wife gave you something different today." And Ted replied, "Oh no, it's a ham sandwich." Fred asked, "How do you know that?" And Ted answered, "I pack my own lunch."

How about that one? Do you see why it's amusing? Play these audio files as many times as you need to in order to hear the correct flow and rhythm of English. Try to imitate how I make my voice go up or down for emphasis in different parts of the sentences.

Have fun with these jokes, and be on the lookout for more in books, magazines, and websites. Your family, friends, and fellow students will have fun being your guinea pigs when you try them out. Remember, practice makes perfect!
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Vocabulary

• admired: thought very highly of
• professional: a person with specialized knowledge and often long and intensive academic preparation
• native: from birth
• comfortable: relaxed and not uptight
• challenges: presents difficulties that will help one learn
• various: several different
• audio: relating to sound
• restaurant: public place that serves meals for purchase
• surprising: unexpected
• groaned: made a low sound of annoyance or pain
• shocked: very surprised
• emphasis: making a certain word or phrase stand out because it is stronger than the others
• guinea pigs: small animals sometimes used for scientific experimentation; a person who volunteers try something out can be called a guinea pig

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Vocabulary Practice

1.  Sometimes it's a nice treat to eat dinner at a _____________ instead of having to cook at home.
2. Jill, who wanted to be a fashion designer, used her friends as ________________ when she needed to try out some of her new clothing ideas on real people.
3. Listening to __________ recordings can help you improve your English comprehension.
4. My mother always tries to make guests feel ________________ when they visit her home.
5. Anne Frank, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Helen Keller are the three women that I've always _________ most.
6. When the students realized they'd have homework over the weekend, the students ___________ to show their disapproval.
7. I like doing a crossword puzzle that ___________ me, as opposed to an easy one.
8. Patrick decided to hire a _____________ gardener to help him choose the plants that would work best in his yard.
9. Many  ________ speakers of English make grammatical errors when they speak and write.
10. People often use their hands when they speak if they want to put a lot of __________ into what they're saying.
11. Linda's friends were a bit _________ when they saw that she'd colored her gray hair bright red.
12. It's not ____________ that Meryl Streep has won so many Academy Awards; she's a great actress!
13. I love shoes, but it's hard for me to choose from the ___________ colors and styles on sale at the shoe store.

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Grammar Point

Homophones

Homophones are words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings. Some homophone pairs you're probably familiar with are bear/bare, dear/deer, and fair/fare. Some homophones can even come in groups of three, as you'll see in the practice assignment below.
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Grammar Practice

In the first two paragraphs above, there are several words that have common homophones. Find these words and list their homophones too. I found nine; if you can find more than that, let me know! The answers are below.
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1. do/dew/due
2. you/ewe
3. way/weigh
4. told/tolled
5. but/butt
6. to/too/two
7. would/wood
8. by/buy/bye
9. here/hear

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Find Comedians That You Like!
A comedian, or comic, is an artist who tells funny stories and jokes on stage in front of a live audience. Perhaps you've seen a comedian perform, maybe on television or at a live show. These performers are called "stand-up" comedians, because they literally stand up in front of an audience and do their show.

Search YouTube or other internet sites to hear some of these comic "routines." This is great listening practice because each comedian has a very different way of speaking. Note that certain comedians use language that some people may consider offensive. You might consider Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen Degeneres, Bill Cosby, and Jim Gaffigan, as these artists generally do not use offensive language.

Here is a link to one of Bill Cosby's great comedy routines about a father who has to make breakfast for his children:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K5YBNQq-Qo&feature=related