Are You Joking?

Do you have a friend who always has a new joke to share with the crowd? I think we all do. I've always admired people who can remember jokes and tell them well.

When you're learning another language, telling and listening to jokes can be a fun way to practice your speaking and listening skills. When I was learning French in high school, my teacher told the class that when you can understand a joke in French you'll know you really understand the language. I can't remember any French jokes but I can remember my first German joke--it had to do with a frog who wanted to have a nice picture of himself taken by a professional photographer. I was so proud of being able to understand that joke and I loved to practice telling it to any native German speaker who would listen to me.

Playing with English jokes can help you get comfortable with the language. If you don't understand why a joke is funny, try to work it out yourself by thinking of different meanings of the words involved. Many jokes rely on a double meaning, or a "play on words," to be funny. Here is an example of a joke that involves a play on words:

Did you hear the joke about the unstamped letter? Never mind. You wouldn't get it.

Do you understand why this joke works? In the first part of the joke, the teller asks if the listener has heard a joke about a letter with no stamp on it. When the teller says, "Never mind. You wouldn't get it." it seems to refer to the fact that the listener shouldn't even bother hearing the joke, as he wouldn't understand it. To "get" a joke means to understand it. But there's another meaning of "get": to receive something. In this case, the second meaning of "You wouldn't get it." is "You wouldn't receive the letter, because it has no stamp." So this joke is based on the two meanings of the word "get": to understand and to receive. Wordplay like this is fun because it challenges you to think more deeply about the various meanings that words may have.

I've recorded audio files for two jokes that I'd like you to hear. Click the play button to listen to me tell the first joke, "Bear in the Restaurant." Then play the audio again and follow along with the text I've added below the audio file player.

One day, a bear walked into a restaurant. He sat down at a table. When the waitress came over to him, he asked for a cheeseburger. The waitress brought him his food and left him alone to eat. While the bear was eating, the waitress went over to the owner of the restaurant and asked him, "What should I charge that bear over there for that cheeseburger?" The owner thought for a minute and said, "Well, he's just a bear. He probably has no idea what things really cost. Charge him $300.00." In a little while the bear asked the waitress how much he owed her for the cheeseburger. She told him it was $300.00, and he handed her the money. As he was leaving, the waitress said to him, "You know, I have to ask you--why did you come into this restaurant today? We don't usually get many bears coming in here." And the bear answered, "Well, it's not surprising--not with these prices!"

Do you get it? Do you understand why it's funny? Practice telling this joke on your own, then try it out on a friend!

Now try this one, "Lunch":

Three construction workers--Ed, Fred, and Ted--ate lunch together every day. Every day Ed opened his lunch box and found a chicken sandwich. Every day, Fred opened his lunch box and found a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And every day, Ted opened his lunch box and found a ham sandwich. After months of this, they started to get tired of eating the same food. One day, Ed said, "If my wife gives me a chicken sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to throw it in the garbage." Fred said, "Me too--if I get peanut butter and jelly again, I'm going to throw MINE in the garbage." And Ted said, "Me too--if I get ham again, I'm going to throw MINE in the garbage." So at lunch the next day, Ed opened up his lunchbox, unwrapped his sandwich, and saw that his wife had packed him chicken. He groaned, wrapped it up, and threw it in the garbage. Fred opened his lunch box, saw that his wife had packed him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and threw it in the garbage next to Ed's. Next, Ted picked up his sandwich and threw it in the garbage without even opening it. The other two men were shocked. Ed said, "Ted, why didn't you open it up? Maybe your wife gave you something different today." And Ted replied, "Oh no, it's a ham sandwich." Fred asked, "How do you know that?" And Ted answered, "I pack my own lunch."

How about that one? Do you see why it's amusing? Play these audio files as many times as you need to in order to hear the correct flow and rhythm of English. Try to imitate how I make my voice go up or down for emphasis in different parts of the sentences.

Have fun with these jokes, and be on the lookout for more in books, magazines, and websites. Your family, friends, and fellow students will have fun being your guinea pigs when you try them out. Remember, practice makes perfect!
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Vocabulary

• admired: thought very highly of
• professional: a person with specialized knowledge and often long and intensive academic preparation
• native: from birth
• comfortable: relaxed and not uptight
• challenges: presents difficulties that will help one learn
• various: several different
• audio: relating to sound
• restaurant: public place that serves meals for purchase
• surprising: unexpected
• groaned: made a low sound of annoyance or pain
• shocked: very surprised
• emphasis: making a certain word or phrase stand out because it is stronger than the others
• guinea pigs: small animals sometimes used for scientific experimentation; a person who volunteers try something out can be called a guinea pig

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Vocabulary Practice

1.  Sometimes it's a nice treat to eat dinner at a _____________ instead of having to cook at home.
2. Jill, who wanted to be a fashion designer, used her friends as ________________ when she needed to try out some of her new clothing ideas on real people.
3. Listening to __________ recordings can help you improve your English comprehension.
4. My mother always tries to make guests feel ________________ when they visit her home.
5. Anne Frank, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Helen Keller are the three women that I've always _________ most.
6. When the students realized they'd have homework over the weekend, the students ___________ to show their disapproval.
7. I like doing a crossword puzzle that ___________ me, as opposed to an easy one.
8. Patrick decided to hire a _____________ gardener to help him choose the plants that would work best in his yard.
9. Many  ________ speakers of English make grammatical errors when they speak and write.
10. People often use their hands when they speak if they want to put a lot of __________ into what they're saying.
11. Linda's friends were a bit _________ when they saw that she'd colored her gray hair bright red.
12. It's not ____________ that Meryl Streep has won so many Academy Awards; she's a great actress!
13. I love shoes, but it's hard for me to choose from the ___________ colors and styles on sale at the shoe store.

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Grammar Point

Homophones

Homophones are words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings. Some homophone pairs you're probably familiar with are bear/bare, dear/deer, and fair/fare. Some homophones can even come in groups of three, as you'll see in the practice assignment below.
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Grammar Practice

In the first two paragraphs above, there are several words that have common homophones. Find these words and list their homophones too. I found nine; if you can find more than that, let me know! The answers are below.
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1. do/dew/due
2. you/ewe
3. way/weigh
4. told/tolled
5. but/butt
6. to/too/two
7. would/wood
8. by/buy/bye
9. here/hear

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Find Comedians That You Like!
A comedian, or comic, is an artist who tells funny stories and jokes on stage in front of a live audience. Perhaps you've seen a comedian perform, maybe on television or at a live show. These performers are called "stand-up" comedians, because they literally stand up in front of an audience and do their show.

Search YouTube or other internet sites to hear some of these comic "routines." This is great listening practice because each comedian has a very different way of speaking. Note that certain comedians use language that some people may consider offensive. You might consider Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen Degeneres, Bill Cosby, and Jim Gaffigan, as these artists generally do not use offensive language.

Here is a link to one of Bill Cosby's great comedy routines about a father who has to make breakfast for his children:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K5YBNQq-Qo&feature=related